Living in a constant flare

For the past couple of months I’ve been living in a constant state of a flare. What’s a flare look like for my autoimmune disease? I’m glad you asked…..

Wake up after tossing and turning all night with very little sleep. Anytime I lay on a certain area for awhile it feels bruised and it’s too much pressure for my skin. Spend the night flip-flop-flip-flop. Finally after hours of this it hurts so bad in so many places it’s just not worth the extra sleep.

Head to the kitchen to eat the easiest thing so I can take my morning meds. Sit on a heating pad for my back for 2 hours while waiting for the meds to kick in. Hoping it will take a little bit of the edge of my pain off. Use my 2 inhalers and do a treatment on the nebulizer for my lungs.

Mid morning is either a bath or a doctor’s appointment. I usually have 3-4 appointments a week. Sometimes I don’t bathe for a couple days because even getting a bath takes all the energy out of me. Also time for more pills. If I’m late on meds it feels like I’m walking thru glue. It’s so hard to function.

Afternoons are for naps, reading, stretches, wishing I could do more with my life… Oh and more pills.

Time to help with dinner. I love to cook and sometimes can do it by myself. These past couple months I usually start dinner and end up on the couch while someone finishes.

After dinner- this is one of my favorite times. I’m with my whole family, watching tv and talking, taking care of my dogs, going for a short walk. My body usually gets really bad again because I am using so much energy to do these tasks. Holding a convo tires me out so much. I push through the pain to pretend to be a normal person. I want to cuddle with my husband but the touch of his hand feels like it’s sitting on top of a bruise. It hurts too much.

More pills at bedtime hoping that I can get good sleep. Probably not.

Usually end up thinking how much my body sucks right now, but the flare will eventually pass and I will be able to do more. Also knowing how lucky I am to have a family who cares and takes care of me however they can.